The focus during a divorce has to remain on your children. As a parent, while you do want to know your own child custody rights, what you should really care about is creating a loving, supportive home life for the kids.
One thing to watch out for is the tunnel vision that makes it all too easy to think about yourself and not your kids.
"Divorce causes emotional tunnel vision and people get so focused on their own hurts and needs that they lose sight of the goal of creating a good childhood," one expert noted. "The hardest part for co-parents is remembering that time with the child is not a prize to be won, but a gift to be cherished."
It's easy to think of your child almost like an asset if you end up in court. Your ex is trying to take the kids from you. You're trying to take the kids from him or her. You focus on what you want and on denying them what they want because of the negative emotions from the divorce.
Is that attitude really healthy for the kids? Do they want to see that you think of them not like people but like assets? Would they actually be better off if you set your emotions aside and focused on what was best for them, even if that did not line up perfectly with what you wanted for your life?
You have to ask these questions when approaching a complex child custody case. As you answer them, consider what legal steps you can take to create the right plan for your family.