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Indianapolis Family Law Blog

Same-sex marriage continues to grow more common

The Supreme Court ruling making same-sex marriage legal in 2015, known as the Obergefell decision, naturally led to a massive increase in marriages in the years to come. This was a ground-breaking ruling and changed the landscape of marriage in the United States.

Studies have shown that it continues to become more and more common every year. The largest increase happened right after the court ruling, implying that many couples were more than ready to get married and were just waiting to be allowed to do so. While that rate may have slowed down, it's still true that these marriages continue to show up in greater numbers.

Does your child's teacher need to know about the divorce?

As you move toward divorce with your spouse, you decide to tell family members and friends. But then you start wondering about your child's teacher at school. Should you tell them? Or is that oversharing? Do they need to know?

What you decide is up to you; you certainly do not have to tell the teacher if you do not want to. This is private information.

Is it common to think about getting a divorce?

The first time that divorce crosses your mind, you feel a bit shocked. Maybe you grew up thinking that divorce should never be the answer. Maybe you don't know anyone personally who ended their marriage. You feel like you're nearly alone just to consider the option.

You really should not feel that way, as the statistics show that you are not alone at all. And you don't even have to look at the divorce rate to see it. In one study, those between 25 years old and 50 years old, who were married, were asked if they had ever thought about divorce. More than half of them said that they had.

Gender changes in the workforce impact family roles and custody

The gender assumptions and stereotypes that used to plague child custody cases are starting to disappear. More and more, for instance, both men and women get shared custody of the kids rather than seeing it heavily favor mothers.

There are a lot of reasons for this, including an understanding that men can also be excellent caretakers and the knowledge that children do best when they have a relationship with both parents. One other thing that factors in, though, is how often women now enter the workforce.

Be creative when considering child custody options

People often fall into the same old patterns when trying to figure out how to set up a child custody plan. For instance, they simply alternate weeks or send the kids to the father's house on the weekends.

For many, these time-tested strategies may work, but do not make the mistake of thinking that you have no other options. You can be creative. You can think outside of the box.

Should you sell investments to split them in divorce?

Your divorce means dividing your assets. Much of your money is tied up in investments. You like to have that money working for you 24/7, increasing your wealth even while you sleep.

However, the easiest way to divide those assets, you believe, is just to sell them and split the proceeds. It seems straightforward. That's the same thing you're going to do with the house, which you plan to sell on the open market. Is this a wise choice for your investments?

Adoption can help children move forward with their lives

There are many reasons to consider adopting a child. Perhaps you and your spouse cannot have kids naturally. Maybe you want a child but you don't want to go through the physical difficulty of pregnancy. Perhaps you're a step-parent and you're thinking of adopting your spouse's child from a previous relationship.

One thing that adoption can do for a child is to help them move forward. Children need parents. That type of natural structure in their lives can do more good for them than even many adults fully realize. This is especially true when the children have dealt with:

  • Neglect
  • Abandonment
  • Abuse
  • Being orphaned

Think of a prenup like a seat belt

People often set themselves firmly against using a prenup on the grounds that it just feels too cynical. They're in love. They never plan to get divorced. They don't want to think about that.

It's an understandable emotional response, but it's not logical. Look at the divorce rate. How many of those couples thought they'd get divorced on the day they got married?

The post-divorce move: Helping kids adjust

For many people, divorce means they have to move. They sell the family home and each person buys their own home or apartment.

When kids are involved, that move can be hard for them. It really underscores how different life is going to be after the divorce. It's a huge change during a time when they're seeing a lot of major changes. The kids may resent the move and wish they could just stay in their old home and their old room.

Don't let divorce take your focus off of the kids

The focus during a divorce has to remain on your children. As a parent, while you do want to know your own child custody rights, what you should really care about is creating a loving, supportive home life for the kids.

One thing to watch out for is the tunnel vision that makes it all too easy to think about yourself and not your kids.